I just feel completely defeated. Like there really is not point and that nothing I do matters. I feel like I can't express myself, (even now while righting I know I'm thinking too much because I'm afriad of what people will say or think...)School just pisses me off, I go through the motions but I'm not learning anything, I don' care about anything and I can't force myself to do anything. it's like I'm only here as entertainment of others. I'm a fucking joke. I actually broke down while on the phone with my parents and now I'm worrying them. my brother's doing great, making friends, doing awesome in his classes, part of the school play. I just can't do it. I can't make anytihng of myself and I hate it. I know nobody cares about my rants, I do this often enough, I'm over reacting or just tired or have brought this on myself, I just can't deal anymore. fucking lost.